I tried to go back to sleep but every time I closed my eyes I saw horrible things happening to me, so I got up instead. I made some coffee and gave my dogs their breakfast and then I spent the day doing some laundry, washing the kitchen floor and making some dinner. It was better than yesterday. Yesterday I only made dinner and that took forever.
I don't know what I did with the rest of my day. Nothing, probably. Focussed on breathing a lot.
My mother called and had some tea this evening. I tried to be normal but I don't think she bought it, she kept asking me if I was ok, I kept saying yes. I'm sure I smiled a lot. Maybe I smiled too much. I don't normally smile. Maybe that was it.
But today was better than yesterday, and tomorrow will be better than that. I don't think I cried today. One foot in front of the other.
I hope you all are doing well out there.
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