I love Jessica Fletcher. My grannies were both amazing - before they went and died... but if I were allowed to have a third one? Well Jessica Fletcher is the obvious choice. And here are my top reasons why.
10. She’s Cool.
She once worked with Magnum P.I. That’s a brilliant thing to be able to tell your friends about your granny. “Oh, your granny won fifty quid on the bingo did she? Well, my granny went to Hawaii and solved a case with Thomas Magnum. You know..? Magnum P.I..? he of the fabulous moustache?” Yeah, she’d win hands down in the cool granny disputes with that one.
9. She’s longer lasting. Better value some might say.
As Jessica doesn’t drive a car, she seems to have a very active lifestyle. She is never off that bicycle of hers, and if she’s not cycling somewhere it’s only because she wanted to go for a nice stroll. This would surely lead to her having a longer life expectancy than most old ladies. That quality would be very much appreciated in a grandmother; it’s never nice when they die. Cycling is great fun as well, imagine going for a cycle with your lovely old Nana Jess, stopping for a picnic along the way on a beach in Cabot Cove. How nice.
8. She’s industrious.
She is very hard working. A good work ethic is a fine trait in any human. Before becoming a popular murder mystery novelist, she taught English to students in a high school somewhere, (probably Cabot Cove) and in one of the later series of Murder, She Wrote, she started teaching criminology at a university in Manhattan. She didn’t have to take that job, sure she must have been loaded after selling all those books. And no matter where she goes or how busy she is, she always has time to help people out. Of prison. Because they’ve been falsely accused of murder.
7. She’s respectable.
She’s not a tart like some older ladies one might see on the television or down the local pub. This is another excellent characteristic. Jessica has been widowed for quite some time and seems to have no end of male admirers dotted around the country, probably because of those lovely legs (from all that cycling) and that dazzling smile of hers. But still Jessica seems to have stayed a one man woman. She still speaks fondly of her husband Frank and although she seems to enjoy the company of all her male friends she is never flirty.
6. She’s a good helper.
If it weren’t for Jessica Fletcher, can you imagine how many people would have been locked in prison forever, or even sentenced to death for crimes they didn’t commit? Can you imagine how many murders would have been left unsolved by bumbling detectives? Can you imagine how many families would have been left in turmoil, having no closure, not knowing the truth of what happened? Well you can now, can’t you? So maybe you’ll all thank the heavens that this angel was sent to save the day instead of mumbling and joking about her suspected involvement in all of the murders that she so kindly solves.
5. She’s very clever and brave.
She is decidedly modern for her age. Most old people still listen to the wireless, communicate with each other via telegraphs, eat ‘rations’ and speak in Latin, but not our Jess. She started out with a quill and papyrus, went on to use a typewriter to clack out her stories onto paper, until finally putting her faith in modern technology and getting herself a computer. You surely all know how older people feel about computers so we think you’ll agree this was especially clever and brave of her.
Oh, and the crime fighting – that’s clever and brave too!
4. She’s hot.
Jessica is very beautiful, both inside and out - You don’t find both of those qualities in a person very often. In fact, you don’t find even one of those qualities in a person very often. People are generally quite mean and unattractive.
3. She’s talented
She’s a best selling author. Like, hello... that’s brilliant. That’s a really intelligent talent to have. Some people are talented at singing or dancing or yoyo, but writing a good book has got to be one of the best talents around. Wouldn’t it just be wonderful, if she was your grandmother, to curl up on her sofa reading one of her murder mystery novels while the smell of freshly baked scones wafts through the house and the sounds of her typewriter clack and ring in your ears?
2. She’s not a mental.
She didn’t allow herself to become bitter and twisted. This is probably the most important reason of all. Mental grannies are great fun but if you were choosing your own you’d go for a sane one. Right?
Her husband tragically died (young enough too as far as we can make out) leaving her alone and childless. From what the show ‘Hoarders’ has taught us about childless widows, Jessica Fletcher’s house should be filthy and she should have collected at least forty cats by now. But does she have even one? Does she heck, she’s far too busy enjoying life and being wonderful to look after a stinky old cat.
She should also probably be spending her time being absolutely beastly to everyone and chasing children around on that bicycle of hers, threatening to ‘get’' them, and perhaps even their little dogs too. But does she? No, no my friends, she does not. What a source of inspiration this woman is.
1. She’s a great role model.
I'm quite looking forward to growing old. Old people can act as crazy as they like and go for weeks without washing themselves and nobody says a word to them about it. Old people can hit cars with their walking sticks, throw piss-soaked rags at innocent passers by and nobody reacts. It seems like great fun to be sure. But I don't actually want to do any of that fun stuff. I shall strive to end up like Jessica. Refined, happy, much loved Jessica. Good old Jessica Fletcher.
10. She’s Cool.
She once worked with Magnum P.I. That’s a brilliant thing to be able to tell your friends about your granny. “Oh, your granny won fifty quid on the bingo did she? Well, my granny went to Hawaii and solved a case with Thomas Magnum. You know..? Magnum P.I..? he of the fabulous moustache?” Yeah, she’d win hands down in the cool granny disputes with that one.
9. She’s longer lasting. Better value some might say.
As Jessica doesn’t drive a car, she seems to have a very active lifestyle. She is never off that bicycle of hers, and if she’s not cycling somewhere it’s only because she wanted to go for a nice stroll. This would surely lead to her having a longer life expectancy than most old ladies. That quality would be very much appreciated in a grandmother; it’s never nice when they die. Cycling is great fun as well, imagine going for a cycle with your lovely old Nana Jess, stopping for a picnic along the way on a beach in Cabot Cove. How nice.
8. She’s industrious.
She is very hard working. A good work ethic is a fine trait in any human. Before becoming a popular murder mystery novelist, she taught English to students in a high school somewhere, (probably Cabot Cove) and in one of the later series of Murder, She Wrote, she started teaching criminology at a university in Manhattan. She didn’t have to take that job, sure she must have been loaded after selling all those books. And no matter where she goes or how busy she is, she always has time to help people out. Of prison. Because they’ve been falsely accused of murder.
7. She’s respectable.
She’s not a tart like some older ladies one might see on the television or down the local pub. This is another excellent characteristic. Jessica has been widowed for quite some time and seems to have no end of male admirers dotted around the country, probably because of those lovely legs (from all that cycling) and that dazzling smile of hers. But still Jessica seems to have stayed a one man woman. She still speaks fondly of her husband Frank and although she seems to enjoy the company of all her male friends she is never flirty.
6. She’s a good helper.
If it weren’t for Jessica Fletcher, can you imagine how many people would have been locked in prison forever, or even sentenced to death for crimes they didn’t commit? Can you imagine how many murders would have been left unsolved by bumbling detectives? Can you imagine how many families would have been left in turmoil, having no closure, not knowing the truth of what happened? Well you can now, can’t you? So maybe you’ll all thank the heavens that this angel was sent to save the day instead of mumbling and joking about her suspected involvement in all of the murders that she so kindly solves.
5. She’s very clever and brave.
She is decidedly modern for her age. Most old people still listen to the wireless, communicate with each other via telegraphs, eat ‘rations’ and speak in Latin, but not our Jess. She started out with a quill and papyrus, went on to use a typewriter to clack out her stories onto paper, until finally putting her faith in modern technology and getting herself a computer. You surely all know how older people feel about computers so we think you’ll agree this was especially clever and brave of her.
Oh, and the crime fighting – that’s clever and brave too!
4. She’s hot.
Jessica is very beautiful, both inside and out - You don’t find both of those qualities in a person very often. In fact, you don’t find even one of those qualities in a person very often. People are generally quite mean and unattractive.
3. She’s talented
She’s a best selling author. Like, hello... that’s brilliant. That’s a really intelligent talent to have. Some people are talented at singing or dancing or yoyo, but writing a good book has got to be one of the best talents around. Wouldn’t it just be wonderful, if she was your grandmother, to curl up on her sofa reading one of her murder mystery novels while the smell of freshly baked scones wafts through the house and the sounds of her typewriter clack and ring in your ears?
2. She’s not a mental.
She didn’t allow herself to become bitter and twisted. This is probably the most important reason of all. Mental grannies are great fun but if you were choosing your own you’d go for a sane one. Right?
Her husband tragically died (young enough too as far as we can make out) leaving her alone and childless. From what the show ‘Hoarders’ has taught us about childless widows, Jessica Fletcher’s house should be filthy and she should have collected at least forty cats by now. But does she have even one? Does she heck, she’s far too busy enjoying life and being wonderful to look after a stinky old cat.
She should also probably be spending her time being absolutely beastly to everyone and chasing children around on that bicycle of hers, threatening to ‘get’' them, and perhaps even their little dogs too. But does she? No, no my friends, she does not. What a source of inspiration this woman is.
1. She’s a great role model.
I'm quite looking forward to growing old. Old people can act as crazy as they like and go for weeks without washing themselves and nobody says a word to them about it. Old people can hit cars with their walking sticks, throw piss-soaked rags at innocent passers by and nobody reacts. It seems like great fun to be sure. But I don't actually want to do any of that fun stuff. I shall strive to end up like Jessica. Refined, happy, much loved Jessica. Good old Jessica Fletcher.
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