I forgot I wrote this. I'm glad I did though, I find it rather enjoyable. Read on if you would like to fondly remember some of the raddest insults from the 80's and 90's...
Are you mean?
Do you enjoy calling people names?
Are you sick of repeating yourself?
If you have answered yes to one or all of these questions, then hopefully what I have listed below will help you out.
The usual 'shit-head, dick-head, knob-head' well, anything-head really can be used as an insult these days can't it? But these are getting old.
And old is getting new again, or it will be if I have anything to do with it.
Sometimes you don't want to use these tired words. Sometimes you wish your insult vocabulary was wider. Or sometimes you just make up your own - like the time my dear friend Susan so eloquently expressed her anger by blurting out one of my now favourite made-up words - 'cuntyhole'.
Unfortunately we don't all have these wonderful skills with words, like Susan does. So, for your convenience I have very kindly put together a list of wonderful insults, the ones we love and remember fondly from our childhood. Retro insults. I've broken them down and deciphered them for you as well, so if anybody asks you what you mean when you insult them, you'll sound like you know what you're talking about.
Dill-hole
Dill is a herb. And a hole is a hole (that's what he said). So a dill hole, naturally, is a hole in which one might place ones dill plant. Or dill pickle...
Piss-ant
Piss is urine, right? And an ant is a tiny, extremely strong insect. Ants bite you and steal your picnic.
Dick-weed
Dick is a nickname, the short version of the name Richard. The name Richard means 'powerful leader'. A weed is a plant that nobody likes or wants and people try to kill all the time.
Cock-knocker
Well we all know a cock is a male chicken, or a rooster, but also it is the adult male of many different types of bird.
A knocker is a usually metal fixture that people attach to their front door so that visitors can use it to signal that they wish to be granted entry to the abode that the aforementioned front door belongs to.
Douche-bag
The word douche is a french one, meaning shower.
Douching usually refers to rinsing out ones vagina.
Charming.
Bag... ugh I'm getting tired of explaining simple words, why did I start this...
Butt-munch
Butt is a slang word for ones posterior, or buttocks. Also it can be used to describe the end of a cigarette, and various other things; water butt, rifle butt, butt of the joke...
Munch was a brilliant Norwegian artist who did that painting The Scream. Also munching is what your mouth does when you eat.
Penis Breath
An insult brought to us from the movie ET. Brilliant. A penis is the male genital organ, used for copulation and wee wee.
Breath is (from the dictionary) noun: an inhalation or exhalation of air from the lungs.
Ass-wipe
Ass is another slang word for posterior, but it is also another name for a donkey. Donkeys are awesome animals. You should all adopt one from a sanctuary immediately.
Wipe is something that people do, usually with a cloth, to clean things like countertops, kitchen tables etc. You can also wipe your feet on the doormat, wipe your face if you get spaghetti sauce on it, that sort of thing.
Pencil-neck
A pencil is a tool used for drawing and writing.
A neck is the part of ones body that holds the head up.
Laser-brain
A brilliant insult from one of the Star Wars movies, I do believe. A laser is a light emitting device. The word LASER is an acronym for Light Amplification by Stimulated Emission of Radiation.
A brain is that pile of mush in your head that controls your body. Use it wisely, you only get one.
Dirtbag
A bag used for dirt? A bag of dirt? I'm not too sure.
Airhead
Air... yeah I'm not describing or explaining either of these words. Air and head, you know what they are.
Dipstick
A dipstick is a measurement device, the most widely known probably is the dipstick used in cars to measure the quantity of oil in the engine.
I hope this proves helpful. Let me know if you use them to insult any of your friends or family. And please, share if any of you, lovely readers, have some favourite insults from the good old days.
Are you mean?
Do you enjoy calling people names?
Are you sick of repeating yourself?
If you have answered yes to one or all of these questions, then hopefully what I have listed below will help you out.
The usual 'shit-head, dick-head, knob-head' well, anything-head really can be used as an insult these days can't it? But these are getting old.
And old is getting new again, or it will be if I have anything to do with it.
Sometimes you don't want to use these tired words. Sometimes you wish your insult vocabulary was wider. Or sometimes you just make up your own - like the time my dear friend Susan so eloquently expressed her anger by blurting out one of my now favourite made-up words - 'cuntyhole'.
Unfortunately we don't all have these wonderful skills with words, like Susan does. So, for your convenience I have very kindly put together a list of wonderful insults, the ones we love and remember fondly from our childhood. Retro insults. I've broken them down and deciphered them for you as well, so if anybody asks you what you mean when you insult them, you'll sound like you know what you're talking about.
Dill-hole
Dill is a herb. And a hole is a hole (that's what he said). So a dill hole, naturally, is a hole in which one might place ones dill plant. Or dill pickle...
Piss-ant
Piss is urine, right? And an ant is a tiny, extremely strong insect. Ants bite you and steal your picnic.
Dick-weed
Dick is a nickname, the short version of the name Richard. The name Richard means 'powerful leader'. A weed is a plant that nobody likes or wants and people try to kill all the time.
Cock-knocker
Well we all know a cock is a male chicken, or a rooster, but also it is the adult male of many different types of bird.
A knocker is a usually metal fixture that people attach to their front door so that visitors can use it to signal that they wish to be granted entry to the abode that the aforementioned front door belongs to.
Douche-bag
The word douche is a french one, meaning shower.
Douching usually refers to rinsing out ones vagina.
Charming.
Bag... ugh I'm getting tired of explaining simple words, why did I start this...
Butt-munch
Butt is a slang word for ones posterior, or buttocks. Also it can be used to describe the end of a cigarette, and various other things; water butt, rifle butt, butt of the joke...
Munch was a brilliant Norwegian artist who did that painting The Scream. Also munching is what your mouth does when you eat.
Penis Breath
An insult brought to us from the movie ET. Brilliant. A penis is the male genital organ, used for copulation and wee wee.
Breath is (from the dictionary) noun: an inhalation or exhalation of air from the lungs.
Ass-wipe
Ass is another slang word for posterior, but it is also another name for a donkey. Donkeys are awesome animals. You should all adopt one from a sanctuary immediately.
Wipe is something that people do, usually with a cloth, to clean things like countertops, kitchen tables etc. You can also wipe your feet on the doormat, wipe your face if you get spaghetti sauce on it, that sort of thing.
Pencil-neck
A pencil is a tool used for drawing and writing.
A neck is the part of ones body that holds the head up.
Laser-brain
A brilliant insult from one of the Star Wars movies, I do believe. A laser is a light emitting device. The word LASER is an acronym for Light Amplification by Stimulated Emission of Radiation.
A brain is that pile of mush in your head that controls your body. Use it wisely, you only get one.
Dirtbag
A bag used for dirt? A bag of dirt? I'm not too sure.
Airhead
Air... yeah I'm not describing or explaining either of these words. Air and head, you know what they are.
Dipstick
A dipstick is a measurement device, the most widely known probably is the dipstick used in cars to measure the quantity of oil in the engine.
I hope this proves helpful. Let me know if you use them to insult any of your friends or family. And please, share if any of you, lovely readers, have some favourite insults from the good old days.
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